Deep dark secret

Greetings friends-
Hope all is well.
Okay I have a deep dark secret to tell... I get the weekly starwars.com Homing Beacon e-mails. Okay it is a bit geeky but I thought that this weeks was quite funny/cool. Here it is.




Homing Beacon #198‏






"Luke Skywalker's original Jedi lightsaber, the famous movie prop from the Star Wars saga is now aboard space shuttle Discovery as it waits for its scheduled October 23rd launch at NASA's Kennedy Space Center.
The Jedi lightsaber has been carefully stowed away and will travel into space with the seven STS-120 astronauts to the International Space Station before returning to Earth 14 days (and six million miles) later to mark the legendary film's 30th anniversary.
During the two-week mission, Star Wars fans will be able to leave their best wishes to the space shuttle astronauts. Be sure to check http://www.starwars.com/ over the next few days for more information on how you can get a message to the shuttle crew and what the plans are for the lightsaber upon its return to Earth.
In the meantime, you can watch how the lightsaber's journey began as it left Lucasfilm's headquarters on its way to NASA in this video: http://www.starwars.com/video/view/000545.html"

My life...

Greetings-

Well what is new with me...a lot actually. It is now the 3rd week of school and it already feels like an eternity. I am back in routine of getting oh so little sleep and hurting everyday from playing my cello and riding my bike oh about 14 miles a week-no joke. I am writing this blog because I have not really been around long enough to talk to anyone and more often than not I find my self alone when I am actually around.

Things I have been doing:

Work (yea for early morning shifts): not much to tell except I get all my work tasks done in the first 30 min of my shift and the rest of the time I find ways to keep my self awake.

School: (Funny how we say we go to school be never say what we do, even though we spend many hours here)

7:20am-Ed class one-I get to work with high school kids at Rocky Mountain High. I actually get to work with all of the music departments with another classmate/friend of mine. We get to spend 1/3 of the semester with band, 1/3 with Choir, and 1/3 with the Orchestra. All the ensembles are the top ensembles of the music program, and we get to teach one lesson in each of the groups. This is quite exciting!!- Right now I am working in a groups researching education theorist- mine is Robert Marzano (Classroom Management that works-Assertive Discipline and managing Violence. interesting?...maybe

Ed class 2-personally this class is a challenge for me to stay awake in just because it is right after I get out of work and it is a bit long. we are learning how to write a curriculum and how to recruit students to join band/orchestra/choir- fun fun. you know learning the method behind the madness is not really all that fun sometimes.

now we go to all my ensembles

Orchestra:

well we have been preparing for our concert that we have in 8 days. That music is a bit challenging but I think that we sound really good as an ensemble. We are working a lot on sound, tempo (getting things faster and playing it all at the same time), Balance (we are a bit bottom heavy with all the cellos and basses), and building up endurance for the 3 pieces we are playing. Personally I am not to fond of the 2 modern pieces. it sounds okay in some spots but I am not a fan. I just am not a fan of most of the 20th century classical music in general.

Quartet:

I am now in a Piano Quartet. I love the people I am with this semester, but it is quite a new experience to work in a piano quartet. It is my first time working with this particular ensemble and it is cool to hear how the parts work together so nicely.

Cello lessons:

well I am currently working on my stuff for my Senior recital that is quickly approaching. Things are going quite well. I am pleased with my selections that I am working on and now my challenge is to make each piece sound great!

Steel Band:
(Teaching moment):

Now I get a lot of people asking what is Steel Band. Well Steel band is an ensemble here at CSU that is made up of Steel pan Drums. Now as you can see from the picture steel drums are mettle instruments that originate from Trinidad and Tobago (Not from Jamaica.)

Most pieces that are played on the drums are calypso music but we play from classical to contemporary. It can all be played. The pictures are of the Cello steel Drum. This is the one I play. It has 3 drums so it is quite a work out. I play the cello steel pan. I think they are fun. I am learning another one called the Double seconds so i am in the "newbie group". (they are only 2 pans) which is kind of nice change. so I get to learn a new instrument this semester. I am also in the rhythm section because it is cool. Even though our band is split up into 2 groups we are all always playing something so it just at what difficulty the music is at. This is a very cool group to be apart of.

Cello Pedagogy class:

I have not started this class yet but this semester I get to do "student teaching" private lessons. I am not sure when I will have time for this but, it is something I have to do.

So as you can see school is keeping me busy and out of trouble. Oh last weekend I got to take the PLACE (Program for Licensing Assessment for Colorado Educators) exam. This exam is for receiving my teacher licence) I hope I did okay on it. I felt like some of the questions were bogus and the test mostly catered towards vocalists. At least I am not the only one who thinks this. Us music kids think it was written by a non- music person and it is not a good assessment on our knowledge of Music Education. Anyways, I will not find out how I did for a few more weeks.

I am also trying to continue to get help with my reading through the Learning center but I have had no luck with them. So I think that am going to have to work on it on my own like most things in my life lately. I am sure doing a lot better at reading but I still feel like I am behind and would like that extra support. I guess you can not have everything in life that you want.

well if you stayed reading this I hope you are having a nice day and thank you for reading my blog. It is a long one but, I have a lot going on on this part of my life.

If you ever want to chat with me you can either try to find me in between classes or just instant message/facebook/myspace me or call if you have my number. -take care

-Manda Panda

to:All my lady friends

*If you are reading this on facebook please see the original post to see the movie.*

Okay I chose this Video of The Royal Teens who sing " Short shorts" In honor of one of my new friends observation of girl's apparel.

To all my lady friends,

I am writing to you today to give you a bit of incite that has recently been given to me and to share my thoughts and observations. Today's topic is Fashion but not in the way you might think. This may seem superficial but just think of it as a public service announcement.

Fashion comes and goes like an ocean wave, but I must have to say that not everything in the trendy fashion world is meant to leave the rack. Now I am not an expert at these matters but ladies please start using your head and the gray matter between your ears. STOP right now dressing like hoochie mama's and start showing some modesty.

Now according to history, when it comes to fashion, women do the craziest things to catch that certain guys attention. I am not just talking about American culture but in all cultures across the world. It is quite amusing to take a peek at how women try to beautify them selves to make them selves appealing to the opposite sex. Here are some things that is common to see but is not limited to: hair do, the clothing, make-up, undergarments, the shoes, hat and purses and of course the Bling bling (Jewelry if you do not know what bling bling is.) This is not just a unique think to humans, but I think all animals are programmed to try and impress the opposite sex by looks, smells and what not. There is even a point in time when showing a bare wrist was considered scandalous. The scandal for the past few years is how reveling clothing has become.

Ladies why wear clothing that does not flatter you? When you wear them short clothing especially them short skirts or shorts what kind of message are you sending to the people around you. As you may know appearance does sadly matter in this world. It seems like it projects a little bit of your personality but yet to some people they just do not care and ware what ever. When it starts to get concerning is when things get a little too reveling.

I am going to now use an old funny and a bit out dated saying that my mom once told me. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Sure by wearing your small, short clothing you are getting the attention of guys but what you may not think about is that the kind of attention is not all good. The guy will not respect you if you do not first respect your self and a way to show that you respect your self is not to flaunt all your goods to the world. So, cover up just a little bit more and impress the guy with mystery not vulgarity.

Ladies if you are guilty of owning a pair of them short "booty" shorts ,especially if they have writing on the butt, please leave them in at home your closet next to your short skirt and ugg boots. They are not as cool as you think they are and you will gain so much more respect from guys and your fellow women folk.

Thank you and good day.

Manda Panda

America's Got Talent-special edition

Tonight is the night. It is the Final result show for America's got talent and I am so excited right now. Through this blog I am going to write from the start of the show to the end.

I have been watching this season from the beginning and now at the end. Overall I think 3 out of the top 4 should be there. I have been rooting for Butterscotch (beat boxer/singer), Terry Fator(Ventriloquist who does singing impersonations male and female) and Cas Haley (reggae singer) but I really think that Terry is going to win. He is just amazing at doing what he does. I hope he wins. I do not think that Julienne Irwin should have been in the top 4. She is not quite ready yet but the other 3 are.

we will have to see.

Terry Fator

Butterscotch

Cas Haley

Julienne Irwin-she is 14 by the way

And the top 3 are....

Terry Fator

Cas Haley

Butterscotch

Yea! the 3 that i had picked!

humm top 2: I think it is going to be Cas and Terry

and the top 2 are...

Cas

Terry-

I am so excited!!!! i was right again

I hope it is Terry who will win! but it will be ok if Cas will win too...he is also amazing!

Man that was am interesting performance by the Hoff...

and the winner is....

so excited right now -oh i hate it when they tease you so you have to sit through some more commercials....

YEA!!!! TERRY WON! TERRY WON! i was right!

Oh man He is so cool!

well this concludes my America's got talent blog special edition

Peace-Manda Panda

Move in day-venting-it is long sorry...

Oh my gosh. I would have to say that today has been by far the Craziest day! Today we (when I say we I mean O-team), had to check in a lot of people here at m residence hall. I think we checked in close to 300 students today if not more. We did have a few road blocks (like wrong keys issued out) but overall I think that my O-team and other staff did an awesome job at making this crazy move in day a bit smoother.

I think this whole week I have felt so overwhelmed and out of my element. But I am going to have to say the best part of the week was last night when a lot of the RA's as well as a few of my friends that are on O-team had a dance party. It was very nice to get a chance to be my self and have some fun. I felt like I have been having to be an Information booth and I am not really use to that. Even when I am in the classroom it is not as stressful as this week has been believe it or not.
I am just glad it is over! I must say even though this experience has been difficult for me to handle, I am so glad that I have had such a wonderful support system with My boss, the Resident Director and the Hall Director, the RA's , my friends who work at the front desk and all 13 other people from O-team. I think that I would have cracked if they had not been so encouraging and helpful.
Okay I have been doing O-team for the last four years, last year I was Co-President and I never have been so stressed out before. But of course this is my first year that I call the shots, which is an extremely rare occasion in my life being the youngest in my very loving family. Last year I was Co-President because I was volunteered by the co-chair one day for my ability to be creative. So I was mostly in charge of coming up with ideas to decorate the lobby. I had no idea what all my old co-chair did. This year I had a Co-President because I was training her to take over the President spot for next year and I made sure to involve her in as much as I could. And we are leaving a paper trail for the future O-team people who have no clue what is going on. I think she is going to be amazing at being president next year and I hope she has someone next year who will be just as wonderful as she is to help her out.

I loved how involved the RA's got with the O-team and Desk staff this past week. In the 4 years of doing this I have never had so much interaction with the RA's during the week O-team is around. Yes we would meet the RA's but I think this year I really got to know a lot of them a lot better than I have in the past. Team building works wonders.

I am just happy it is done and I got to meet some amazing people in the past week. As for me I think I took a crash course in how to be a leader. I hope I did okay.

HA HA! I just had a funny thought. I feel like I am Doogie Howser typing away his crazy day on his computer. Sad but true I am that old already.



Well I guess I must agree with Doogie in this clip (Because he is the Man) Respect does go a long way. Night

Manda Panda

Happy Aug.

Wow this summer has gone by so fast. well since I have not kept my blog updated I am going to do a little catch up and hopefully write more in here this month than i did last month. well in the month of July a few cool things that happened to me was After 7 months of intense knitting I finished my blanket and I entered it into the Adams County Fair. As you can see from the picture I got a Red Ribbon (2nd place) for it only because I did not wash it and I had a few unclipped yarn tails. But I am just so happy that I got it done and I actually finished it.

Also in the Great month of July I turned 22. I celebrated my big day with mini-golf with my parents and sister followed by a marshmallow roast with my family and family friends. It was quite a fun shin-dig.

I mostly spent my last few days of summer break with my family and at home getting ready to move back up to Fort Collins.
I am now back in Fo. Co. early for Orientation Team aka O-team. It has been a hectic few days up here so far. This year I am a co-President for O-team partly because I was last year and this is my fourth time on O-team. So My job has been trying to coordinate the O-team staff and prepair them for opening check-in day as well as trying to calm down my boss Barbara who is panicking a little bit because this is her first time opening a residence Hall. From what she has told me the only people who know about opening the residence halls is us returners on O-team. Since this is the case and me being the one who has done this the most I am the one having to answer all kinds of questions and making important decisions. This has been a new experience for me and a little on the stressful side but you know from the response I have been getting from people I am feeling a bit more confident that I am managing the situation pretty good. I am excited because today was our first day decorating the lobby for our big check in day and we are about 1/2 done with it and it is looking way better than what i had expected. My o-team staff this year is fantastic and I am appreciating their help their ideas and their company so far this week.

I am not looking forward to Monday when the band kids arrive here at the dorm mostly because I get to open the office to work and I have to check-in all 35 people by my self from 8am-9:45ish. so if you are in band and checking in on Monday to a dorm please be patient with the desk worker. It is a long process and we are doing the best we can in such a short amount of time.
well har har and hody ho my friends. Be safe and have a fun rest of the summer.
Manda Panda

Happy July

Greetings and salutations my dear friends. I know I have not written since May. Well the month of June was simply fabulous. I had a lot happen. Here are some highlights. My little cousin Isaiah graduated from Kindergarten and my cousin Nick graduated from My old high school Thornton High school. I got to go to Eliches for a Catholic Youth day with my family and some kids from our church. Well it is official. I have ridden all the roller coasters at Eliches at least once in my life time. I have to agree that the flying coaster is not very fun the second time around. lets see...I have read 3 books book one and five of Harry Potter and another called Mr. Darcy's Diary. Oh if you like Pride and Prejudiced you have to read Mr. Darcy's Diary. It is a good one.

I have given up on my job search for the summer. I only had one interview that did not turn out very well. I have been doing walking/running/swimming/working out this summer to keep in shape. *wink* I have been working on my audition excerpts for orchestra and preparing for my recital that i have in November. (darn i got bit by a mosquito tonight playing night Frisbee with my sister and a family friend and my dad)

Well I am making excellent progress on my knitted blanket. I am even going to enter it into the Adams county fair now at the end of July. Wish me luck I have 18 more squares to knit-granted that it takes about a day to make one. but i do have 30 made so not bad not bad. it is looking awesome!

well other than that I am not doing much-helping out my grandparents here and there and helping out my parents.
well I hope you all are having a nice vacation.
Happy 4th of July as well--

Manda Panda

it is Amazing

It is just amazing how busy your life can be when you are helping out your family.

Now that I have been off from school I have been trying to look for a Job but I have not really had the opportunity to. I have Been busy with my family. From family vacations to baby sitting my godson and Isabel to helping out with my grandparents it seems like I am always doing something.

But I love helping out my family and making their day just a bit better. Yesterday I got to help take care of my grandparents who really need the help. My grandma is still sick with her hip and wrist but is at home now and is in need of help. My poor Grandpa tries his best to help my Grandma as best as he could but is having trouble going out to get groceries and stuff like that because he fears that my Grandma will fall and hurt her self again.

So yesterday I drove him to the bank and the grocery store while my Mom stayed with my Grandma. It was so much fun getting to go shopping with my Grandpa. He let me drive his big truck and he started to tell me stories about how he would drive, when he was little, on his horse to towns that were from Thornton to as far as Castle Rock and back to go get his mom 50 lbs of sugar so that she could can the fruit from their orchard that was on their ranch in Las Vegas New Mexico, on Canyon Larga. he was telling me how his mom would let him help her make bread in the outdoor oven (horno) or when he would have to milk

the cows and his mom would make cheese and he would have to go on horseback to sell the cheese.

It is so different when I hear stories of my Grandparents childhood and compare it to the experiences that I have had. They did not have electricity, washing machines/dryers, electric stoves, computers, phones in their house, TV, fast food places or cars when they were kids growing up on the farms. They worked and did some school, but mostly worked and helped their parents. Then you fast forward to now where I consider my self to be very privileged. I do not have to worry about having Rattle snakes in my house or being cold because the fire in the stove went out. I do not live in an Adobe house that my parents made like my Grandparents did and their parents before them. It is interesting to think about how much has changed since my grandparents were young and how much things have not. family, religion, working hard, culture are all things that are Central to how my mom's side of the family works. These are things that have not changed much. I don't know what do you think?

trip to New Mexico-Adventures at Walmart part 2

Hello-
well last week I had gone on a trip to new Mexico. I got to see things i have never seen and re visit the places I went to when I was a little kid. It was quite fun to go on that family vacation. If you want to see pictures of it you can look on my other blog http://mylifepicproject.blogspot.com/

Well I must tell you all about this one incident that happened to us when we were in Espanola new Mexico. My family Visited the church in Chimayo and after we decided to go to WalMart for some pillows for my sister.

I dislike going into Walmarts. they make me claustrophobic and I find that that store no matter where it is you will always find Mean, cranky, rude people with bratty kids running around in mass quantity. Maybe this is just me but this is what I observe. If you are looking for an excuse to get mad i say go to walmart. It is just burning with hatred. well I can tell you that it is no different in New Mexico. You find the same kind of people in the walmart store there as you do here in Colorado. I think they need to work on calming people down while they shop...

My poor sister felt the Wrath of some very rude and angry man as we were checking out from the store. Joy had gotten in line before my mom and I did. we found her and she gestured for us to come in line with her too. I was a bit hesitant about this because we all were paying separate and I saw she had someone behind her and we would be cutting him in line : I know I hate it when people do that to me. She saw that I was a bit hesitant and told me that she will pay for my Yarn and I could pay her back. So we did this. well my mom put her stuff up to be rung up and I put the little separator thing down after her stuff and the man that was behind Joy decided to push his shopping cart into joy's foot and leg to get her attention. He started to yell at her "Hey I thought you were all one order, put them all together." I quickly told my mom that that man was angry at us and she just paid for all our things to shut him up. Joy turned to him and said something like "you don't need to push your cart into me Sir. That is my mom and my sister." and he was all like "I don't care who they are." well lets just say he was very angry at us. We decided that he must have some other issues in his life and he is having a hard time dealing with them. We just pray that he does not hurt any other person.

Man I dislike Walmart...

the Yellow brick road of life

Taking for granted

It seems through life that at some point we wonder what our propose is here. I have not an answer to this but it is important to cherish all the little things in life. There is just so many glorious things around you that you may take for granted.

Have you ever just do what they say and stop to smell the roses; sat in a quite room with the window open and listen to the song bird sing? How about look down on the path you are walking on and see the little Rollie pollie bugs march on by you feet or the big beautiful butterflies flutter gracefully in the sky and wonder what adventure they are off to that day? I know this sounds a bit like dribble but let me tell you, you are given a life to live. You are faced with many choices in you life and what you do with them is what can determine you to live a happy and peaceful life or not. I am guilty of taking things for granted like a friendship, love, nature. There is truly so many things in life to pay attention to really. Many seem important at the time but what are you really sacrificing? Is what you are doing really worth it?

This might sound funny but try this experiment out with me and let me know what you think. Notice some little detail about the environment you are in or people around you and see/hear/taste/feel; if you can try and find out something beautiful about it. trust me it will change at how you view things in life. Remember though don't be so quick to judge for you will miss out on the great beauty that is around you.

Self acceptance

I am no expert in self acceptance but I do find it something that one should look at. It may seem a bit self absorbing to do this, however if you find that you are in a place were you feel like you do not belong listen up. Look inside your self for you will find great power. Like my mom always told me "God does not make junk." You need to believe, love, and trust your self as well as others. You also need to be courageous. It is okay to be different. This is probably one of the harder things in life to admit to because it is only natural as humans to want to fit in and be loved basically. So we sacrifice little parts of our self here and there and mold our selves to be something that we are not. Why try to be a clone when you are a unique and beautiful person. this was a hard lesson that I learned as a small child.

I remember when I was little trying oh so hard to be like my sister Joy because I felt like I did not fit in with my family and she did. My mom and sister, who I mostly hung around, seemed to be so smart, organized and successful. They also got along so well and I would see my sister getting awards left and right for doing well in school. My sister was even in the International Baccalaureate program in high school as well as doing many other activities. So I would work so hard to try and be like them because I thought that if I was like them then I could have all of them traits too and be liked.

Well i very quickly realized that I am not like them. I am not super smart like my sis, I am not nearly as organized, and i was not very successful and really anything. I cried a lot because I was different. I did not like it. Even to this day I know I am different and it is a hard pill to swallow but I open wide and swallow that enormous bitter pill. I am not like my sister or mother who I love and look up to, I am just goofy me and I am proud to be. There are so many things that I am not and I do not know about you but I tend to focus on them bad traits which brings me down a bit. I am still learning how to be more self accepting but it is a long journey. Kind of like the never ending Yellow brick road on wizard of OZ. It seems to never end and you are faced with challenges, set backs and decisions but then at the end of the path is your goal, Happiness. So go forth and reach the end to your path. Life is short so live it.

-Manda Panda

a walk in my moccasins-A refection

Hello all. Well School is winding down to an end. This is the last week before finals also known as Dead week. Not too long ago I was writing my scholarship renewal essay for my First generation Scholarship. This has gotten me to think about my experiences in life and made me realise how lucky I am to actually be here and to be able to experience so many things in my life.

Not many people know who I truly am. This is partly because I am afraid of what they will think of me. But I am not afraid any more. I have discovered that by sharing who I am not only makes me a confident person but gives others a chance to learn from my experiences too. So I want to let you take a walk in my moccasins.

Every person has a unique life story. Some are happy, some are sad. Mine is a little of both. People know I am a Music Ed student at CSU and that I play the cello and I love to knit and sew and dance and sing and watch movies. I am apparently know for my smile because that is what I do a lot and that I am happy most of the time. These are only thing that I allow people to see, some sort of mask that I have developed. Yes theses are things are still apart of me but it is not really who I am.

I am Amanda and I am 21 non drinker and non smoker. I have an Amazing mother, a father who is disabled for 21 years now and who is a true insperation and an older sister who I absolutely love and wish that I could be as good as her. I have 2 cute cats, named Hannah and Daisy Mae. I am a proud Catholic. In both sides of my family I am the only one who is actually going to college for music. I hope to change this fact. I have some family members who sing or play guitar but never had hard core training-they mostly sing Mexican music or play in a rock band.

Mexican music is part of my Heritage. I grew up with my Grandpo (on my mom's side) playing his guitar to us grand kids singing Mexican music and him telling us stories some of them of when he was a kid Growing up in New Mexico on his families cattle ranch or old Mexican folk tales. they would be in Spanglish of course. My Grandparents on my mom's side did not go very far in school because they have always worked. My Grandpa went up to the 6th grade i think and my Grandma only the 3rd grade. Hard to believe this but they did and they worked as migrant field workers and odd jobs here and there all their lives up and down Colorado and New Mexico. As i was growing up my Grandma worked at a Nursing home as a CNA and my Grandpa was retired from King Soopers. I did not really know my Grandparents on my fathers side. My Grandma Vicki died when I was 2 and my Grandpa Tony was not in the picture and died when I was 8 or 9 I think. I am mostly close with my mom's side of the family.

So I am a first generation Student here at CSU. both of my parents went as far as High School and it was a big deal for them to graduate and make it that far. Now I get a chance to be apart of the first generation to go to college and graduate. If it was not for my Mother who would tell my sister and I that we need to go to college and get that degree I do not know where I would have ended up at. In the 4 years that I have been here, I have meet some wonderful and not so wonderful people but mostly wonderful. I have gotten to see the beginnings of a great incoming conductor named Wes Kenny. He started here my freshman year and man was the orchestra not at the level it is now. I have got to see world class musicians play and those who are working diligently to master their instruments. I got to play on Museum piece instruments, conduct an orchestra and band. I have gotten to see my dream come true and getting to teach something that I love to others and share the Joy and power that music has with them. Every day I am here I work hard just so that I can be happy and soak up as much information that I can so that I can carve my way through life.

well I think that sums me up for the most part. Thank you if you have read this note of mine. I just had get out of my box of an image I have created and writing is the best way I know how to fill that box. I hope all of you have the best of luck with finals have a nice day.

Fun times

I know last week I was Raving about swing dancing and this week I am going to again. I just can not help it. I got to dance tonight with so many good dancers. It was so cool. I was doing things that I have never imagined that I would be doing. I got to dance with this one guy named Sean (sp?) He has been dancing for a long time i guess. I just loved watching his facial expressions, But I must say dancing with him was AMAZING! I love what he told me. "It's OK if you mess up. Dancing is just suppose to be fun." and that is how he danced. for fun. he twirled, turned, swung me around and there was a point in time were I felt like i was flying. When you dance the girls have to trust their partner a lot. were ever they lead you you follow even if you have no clue what they are doing, they know what they are doing and you have to trust them.

I got to dance with this older guy he had to be about 56 (he said he graduated from CSU in 1972) but he use to teach people how to dance like the fox trot and the Jitter bug and other dances. well I got to dance with him and he taught me about frame and how to follow your partner and I learned the Fox trot -all kinds of cool stuff. I also got to dance with my friend Eddie. He is really good too and he taught me the jive and i was teaching him some tap dancing moves. (yes I got some dance moves up my selves too).

well besides dancing today i had departmental recital with my trio. I think it went very well. we now know what it feels like to play in a larger room. :) I have not been too focused on HW today. for the past 2 days I have been doing paper after paper after planning lessons to teach ect... so I needed to get out and have some fun.

If you are interested in going with me Next WED it is the last dance before finals. it is totally free. it is going to be at the Lory Student Center near sweet sensations. it starts at 7:15 with lessons on how to dance and then they have a dance after were you can try out your new moves. it is a blast. :)-Manda Panda

I am in Love

Hello all. sorry i have not written in awhile. I have just been so busy with concerts lots and lots of dress rehearsals, homework and teaching that I have not had time to write. I have had 2 major concerts, steel band and Symphonic Orchestra. Steel band Rehearsals kicked my butt because we rehearsed outside/during class about 21 hours from March 23-April 6 and then we had our concert on the 6th. that is a lot of standing up BUt we sounded the best yet. It was such a blast to play. The orchestra concert was great last week only my back started to give me trouble from over use. I have been having to carry a really heavy backpack, my cello and Viola around campus. Some times all at once or a combination of them. I felt like a pack horse. I have been living off of PPJ most days because I have class after class after class. sometimes I do not get to eat anything at all. :( but thing are getting better. Next week I have 4 concerts so we will have to see how this works out.

Now I titled this Blog I am in love because I found a new interest. I love to swing dance. It is so much fun! here is a little of what the kids who sing dance here at CSU can do.



I learned how to do the basic Charleston and the basic Lindy Hop. I think the best part was being dipped and doing a "frog jump" and turns. I just had a blast. Hey guys here is a helpful hint. Girls love to dance and they need a partner. so learn how to dance and you might even get a girl. *wink* I was really impressed by all the very good dancers at the swing dancing club. and some of them had only done it for 7-8 months and they are just impressive. I think I am going to take up swing dancing or ballroom dancing over the summer. *Grin*

good gone to bad--lost...lost

Don't you just hate it when a good day goes sour by one event? I was having such a good morning this morning. I got 8 hours of sleep (which is very rare in my life), I had a good breakfast, got to observe at an elementary school for my music ed class. then it happened...I noticed that my beautiful butterfly necklace that i always have on was missing. (see the picture) All i had around my neck was my chain. This has made me very sad. I went looking for it but I cannot find it. I remember still having it when i was at the elementary school, but somewhere from there to here in my room it has been lost forever. :(

This necklace was very special to me because my Nina (godmother) gave it to me for my 21st birthday this last summer and I love butterflies. I know it is only a material thing but it has grown to become part of me. my special something that hung around my neck and has traveled many miles with me. I wish I still had it but it flew out of my life. I hope if it is found it will bring that person as much joy as it has brought me.

Bitter sweet

If you saw me last week I was not doing very well. I ended up with a really bad head cold. I am still getting over it but i am doing much better.

Friday was so awesome. I had to teach and since i was not feeling very good, Kevin, a singer from my ed class who also was teaching 1/2nd grade helped me teach. Team teaching is kind of fun because you have more than your self to entertain the students. But at the end of the 45 min class, I had 5 kids come up to me and gave me hugs telling me not to leave them. (I was leaving them because in my ed class we have to switch classes to get experience with different age levels.) I realized then that I have grown attached to them kids. They are all so amazing. What they pick up on and how different they all are. still discovering what life is about, it is just so wonderful to be around. I get to teach 3/4th graders this week. I am not sure how this is going to work. It will be tuff to pick up from what another person has set up in the class.

Friday was a sad end to the day. One of my second cousins died. He died of Leukemia and of phenomena at the age of 54. It is sad that we have to lose such wonderful people. I guess that is why we have to treasure life and those around us because you never know when God will call them to join Him in heaven.

Yesterday (Sat.) I when to the Denver march pow wow. I go almost every year with my parents since before i was born. I love going to the pow wow and seeing so many people that look like I do and take part in my heritage. I love the beautiful bead work, dancing, drums and Indian Fry bread. I think that Indian Fry bread is so good. But it is sad that it is not very good for you. If you did not know I am Native American as part of my heritage. 1/8 Apache, and pueblo Indian. I am also Spanish and French. I have always taken an interest in my Native American side. I see a lot of my family traditions are traditions that have been passed down from the Native American Roots. I think it is really cool to be able to see what things survive through out the years. It seems like I come from a long line of story tellers. My family Loves to tell stories. We have so many why not share them. I just wish that a lot of them had been written down so that they could be documented and captured. a lot of them are so charming. hey if you want to see pictures of the pow wow they are posted up on my other blog. "A year in Pictures"

Well I better do some HW and enjoy the rest of my evening.

sad day :(

Tis a sad thing when spring break is over. I am wishing that I had another week. i might even get that week due to illness. I came down with a nice cold. which is putting me at ease because it has been about 8 days since I was exposed to my sister who has been sick with whooping cough. Now i have this nasty cough that has been keeping me up since 1:30am this morning. I have been on antibiotics for exposure but I am not so sure they have been working. I have 6 more days but I have been showing the symptoms of whooping cough. :( sad day.

I am at work right now and I just got done reading a notice that was sent out to all office managers about someone who was diagnosed with whooping cough here on campus and it says that if you are coughing you need to see a Dr. --I am thinking i might have to go in...

this sucks.

time seems to go by so slowly right now...
I am bored. I just want to go back to bed actually. It is only 4:58am right now. and no one is up. I am watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire. It is such a good movie. I love that Krum. ;) It is so bright in the office. yikes. I guess that is one way to keep us early desk workers up in the wee hours of the morning.

*groan* my coughing is getting worse. this is not fun.

SPRING BREAK!!!

Yea finally spring break has arrived. A time of fun excitement, adventure and relaxation form the mounds of HW and classes. Well this is what you perceive as spring break. For me I planned on relaxing at home, doing all the wonderful HW that I have been assigned and doing something fun with Jeanette on Wed.

Well looks like plans are changing. Guess how I get to spend my first part of spring break...QUARANTINED! Yes indeedy...I get to be quarantined because my poor sister is now a Health Hazard and has created an outbreak of Whooping cough (pertussis). She exposed my parents to it and we just found out about it yesterday as we got home. the people from Tri-county health department called us.

Well I guess whooping cough is very contagious. when some one comes in contact with the infected person, whether it be a verbal contact for 15 min or what ever that person is most likely that was not infected is now infected. This brings me to my situation. my sister has been sick since this weekend...she gave out host in church (the wine to be more specific) -if you don not know us catholics drink out of the same cup usually...so not good if you are a public health hazard...she progressively got sick over the week and my parents and rest of the family (except me, because i was in Fo Co) came in contact with her. but I did come in contact with my parents at my steel band concert (so Jeanette if you are reading this you might want to call your Dr. to see if you have to take some meds. because you came in contact with my parents this week and they have been exposed to it) So now i am getting to take meds. for 24 hrs so i hope.

Man I am just think about how many people I have come in contact with--(hundreds of people) my mom too and Joy it is truly amazing...um so I am not sure what to tell you all if you have come in contact with me. because I am not sure if I am a walking heath hazard like my mom and sister or not but just wanted you all to know just so you all could be on the look out for some symptoms. I think it starts off like a really bad cold with a very bad cough. the incubation for it to actually develop is 6-20 days before you get symptoms...so just some FYI.

well gotta go eat some breakfast... i hope you are all enjoying your break...*sigh

Fun times in Brighton

Well happy Wednesday-
I hope all is well.

Yesterday afternoon/evening was so much fun. The entire CSU steel band took a road trip from Fort Collins over to Brighton Colorado, to play a concert with the Brighton Heritage Academy steel band. It was so much fun to have that many people getting to play together. I think that we were the biggest steel band ensemble that has played here in Colorado. It is cool getting to be apart of something new.

My roommate drove Tashi, Jessica, me and her self over to Brighton around 3:30. I was having a little too much fun. Remember when you are a kid and you pass by big truckers and move your arm up and down for them to honk their horn. well I did that to one trucker and he actually honked his horn. it was so funny. I am still laughing at that.

Man it was loud when we combined the 2 ensembles. but it was still cool. the program started out with the kids at BHA playing a few songs.

I got to sight read a song and we performed it after only playing it twice before the concert. But it was easy. it only had 3 chords in it. ;)

after BHA kids got done playing we played our 3 pieces. I was so happy i did not mess up my solo in Playa Larga. we then got both bands together and Jammed. I was excited to have my parents and both of my grandparents there. My grandpa has never seen me play now that i have been in college. and he has never seen steel pans before. I do not think he liked it very much but I am still glad that he came to see me. Today is my Grandma's Birthday. I am sad that I am not there to celebrate her birthday with her but at least I got to see her last night to wish her a happy birthday. :)

We had to load and unload the pans after the concert. this was an entertaining thing.

While we waited for Ty and Matt to get to the building with the pans, Paul was serenading Jessica, Jessica, Tashi, Jeanette and Me. I kept on asking where his tip jar was. He is quite good on the piano. I also came up with a name for all us girls in steel band. I think we should be called the Flock of Ladies. I think this is a cool and funny name for a band. this is the first time in steel band history here are CSU that us girls out number the guys if you do not count Don the director. we are 6 to 5 ratio. when I first started 3 years ago, Kathleen and I were the only Ladies in the group. I was the only one who did not play percussion. Ah fun times... Any ways we all had fun down in B-Town.

I am also happy because I got a 70 on my Humans and other Animals test. This is a big achievement for me because for some reason that class is really hard for me. but things are looking up. :) It is also almost spring break and I am now getting a chance to relax so it is nice. I am also loving this weather. although I am getting spring Fever. oh well...I will be off soon. well i will write more later.. Have a nice day.(to see more pictures check out my picture blog...you will be entertained.

Manda Panda

will it ever end?

Hey friends and family-

Sorry if i have not been around to talk to you all. Like usual I have been very busy and stressed out up here at school. A lot has been going on, but all is well. Lack of sleep has entered my life once more and I am starting to feel like a walking zombie, oblivious to the world around me. there is just not enough time in the day to do everything i want to do. I have had a lot to say to people but just not enough time to say it. so i am going to write it all down here in my blog fair warning that this is going to be long.

I have given up Facebook for lent. So no Facebook until Easter. :) It has been a week and I am starting to get over the fact that I am having facebook withdrawals. Yes it is sad but true that I am a facebook addict. It is one form that I have been able to socialize with my friends because of my busy schedule. However, life with out facebook has been nice. I have found that I have a little more time to do my Homework well and that is about it... I am on myspcae too but that is not as fun as facebook in my opinion.

I have been working part time at the front desk at my dorm very early in the morning twice a week. Yes I get the wonderful 4-8am shift. But I do not mind because it is very quite at that time and I get to work on my homework after I finish my desk duties that take about 30 min. if even that to do.

But i have been doing some cool things at school. In my ED 475 class (Elementary music Methods) I have not only been learning how to teach elementary school kids but i actually get to teach them. That is right. I am teaching 1/2nd grade class at the Lab School for creative learning every Friday for 45min all by my self. At first I was extremely scared of teaching these kids because I did not know what to do. But last week was my 2nd time with them and it went so much better than the previous week. They kids were having fun and learning and this was quite enjoyable to be apart of.

Teaching is a lot of work. It is a lot of work to come up with your lesson plan, what you are going to teach, how you are going to do it, how you are going to handle kids who misbehave and reward the ones that are being good. Also the time it takes to come up with visual aids is a lot but I still think that it is fun. Like I said in one of my previous blogs how many people can say that they get to do arts and crafts at work, play and have fun while teaching future generations life skills and enjoyment.

I have been beginning to think that in life you have to pay attention to details to be successful at different tasks. For me a lot of times I ignore the details and look at things as a whole. So I have been trying to practice working on the details and I have been getting caught up in all the extra work and I have not had down time to have fun. Which i have become to realize that having down time to have fun is an important element in life.

besides teaching I have other classes that are interesting. I have Orchestration where I am learning how to take music and arrange it for other instrumentation. this is also time consuming i think, but quite enjoyable because I know that this skill will be quite handy in the future and I can start to arrange pieces for the different ensembles that I am in. I am in Conducting class, where I am learning how to conduct ensembles. Now I have a lot of respect for conductors. Conducting is quite challenging because like any art form you have to have proper technique to become efficient and knowledgeable about what you are doing. I think I am improving quite a bit on this subject but I still wish I had more time to practice at have independent left and right hand motions. you try this move your right hand up and down fast and with your left hand move it right to left slowly at the same time....it is hard huh?

I have a cello pedagogy class where I am learning how to teach the cello I think... we have just been reading a book called cello technique that talks in detail about how to play the cello. it is interesting book but very detailed. I think this week we get to start to learn about the Suzuki method of teaching (which is a method of teaching young kids how to play music when they are like 3 and up)- I was taught this method when I started to take private lessons in 9th grade up until 12th grade. And I am excited because i get to see my old cello teacher for the first time in 4 years this semester because she is an expert here in Colorado on how to teach this method. :) her name is Carol Tarr.

I am in my last core class ever!! I had to re-take humans and other animals (biology class) because I did not understand what we were doing last semester. It is going better this semester. I have a test this Friday. So I am aiming to get a B on that test.

That leaves me to talk about all of my ensembles. I am in 4 music ensembles plus cello lessons (solo music stuff)--yes that is a lot of music to learn. I am in steel band (we have a concert next week in Brighton by the way), Symphonic Orchestra (which I believe that I got demoted on my chair standings :( . I have been kind of bummed about that but it seems like people are not really saying much about this for some reason but I am no fool) I have not had orchestra since the opera in the beginning of Feb. I am on a break until March 20th so that has been nice because i have been able to practice for steel band and trio rehearsals at a decent time, I am in the best Trio ever (ACME trio-we are playing this cool/difficult piece by Beethoven that is really taking shape), and I am playing the Viola in concert orchestra. now this is a new experience for me to play viola but I am really enjoying it. I also get to conduct a piece in that ensemble. :)
I also have my private lessons stuff. I am getting ready for my Senior recital that I am going to have next Fall semester hopefully. I am learning a cello sonata by Bach, and i just got in my music for Bartock Romanian Dances. :) I will also get to learn how to play Elegie, Op.24- I am not sure who it is by but it is a really beautiful cello piece.

so that is all the stuff that I am faced with every day... It never ends...It is now the middle of the semester and that can only mean that mid-terms are coming up. I have 5 midterms this semester and I am not looking forward to any of them...

In my little free time that I have, I am eating lunch/dinner (if i am lucky), chipping away at my endless amount of HW, Practicing for something, doing HW while catching up with my roommate and that is about it...Do you see a pattern? I am lucky that my teacher canceled class this morning because I have been able to sit here are write about how stressed and unhappy I have been. Yes that is right I am unhappy because I have too much on my plate. but that is something that I am having to work out for my self. I am like a river who is slowly carving a way to be successful...

I have loved going home on the weekends because it has been my escape from all the stuff I have up here at school. I am happy and i feel stronger when i am with my family and when I come up here it is back to the same old thing week after week... but I am learning new and exciting things--I think i was more excited about school my first 2 years here. I remember going home and telling my family about all the cool things I have heard and saw and learned. but now I go home and I just sleep and focus on what is happening on in the moment. some times I will tell them what is going on in my day but not everything because I feel like i can not remember all that goes on because my brain is overworked and I just want to rest. I am hoping to find a way back to my old self and just be happy again and not have a care in the world to worry about.
So now you have gotten a glimpse at what I spend my time doing and why I am not around/very social lately. Sorry about that. I hope you are all having a better time than I am right now. If you want maybe you can join me in for a run or something fun...I need a break

~Manda Panda

Insperation

Today I had a fantastic day. Great cello lesson, I understood what was going on in class for once, excellent trio rehearsal and I attended the First Generation Scholarship banquet. while i was sitting there listening to all the speakers stories why family was important to them it really made me think about something Jeanette said to me this morning.
I was telling her that I have never had a boyfriend before because I have really focused on school and my music to reach my dream of teaching. she basically told me that I am accomplishing my goal and that i should be an Elementary school teacher because I am bubbly.

well, I have come to the conclusion that I know that my life has been a struggle and I am not good at a lot of things but one thing I can say that I am proud of is the fact that I am getting the opportunity to realize my dream. This is Amazing! I have been really stressed out and nervous about tomorrow (Friday). I have to go to the lab school and teach first and second graders (class size 15 students) about music for 45 min all by my self. My teacher is not even going to be there really. But Right now I am really excited to teach tomorrow because I get to share something that I love and I know they love for 45 min. What an amazing thing to do. I get to be apart of that little person's life and leave an imprint of the joy of music. It is just such a wonderful though.

I was also thinking of how much people can affect other people's lives. By sharing a little part of life and experiences to others, gives them the opportunity to take that information, learn what they can from it, grow from that experience and keep it with them to help form their ideas of life. So many people have been apart of my life. I appreciate all that they have given me. it has helped me become the person who I am. For this there is not enough thank yous and I love yous in the world to express how much you all mean to me.

~Manda Panda

Happy Valentines day

I wanted to with you all a Happy Valentines day.

I feel like a zombie today....
i stayed up till almost midnight doing hw and woke up 5 hrs later to finish. so i am a bit tired today and not functioning very well.

I just want you all to know how amazing and wonderful my sister Joy is. she saw that I have been kind of worn out and sad so for valentines day she sent me a care package with all kinds of goodies for me. It is so sweet of her to think of me. I just loved everything that was inside the package and it made my day just that much better. everything in this picture is what she got me except the blue and yellow books. that is my music that i got in the mail yesterday too. I just got excited. I love my sister so much and I consider my self lucky to have her in my life. so to you my sister thank you times a million for all that you do for me. you are very special to me.

well i am going back to my hw that never ends. (bang head on desk) and i am in class till 8:30pm. then possibly drew Barrymore movie? or bed..bed sounds nice... have an amazing day. love you all-Manda panda

Oh where oh where is my Valentine?

Hello--2 days until Valentines day and I still do not have a Valentine. Gotta love single awareness day. I have been aware of the fact that I am single all my life. maybe if i sing my new song i learned i will get a valentine. :)

1,2,3 who's will it be
who will be my valentine 1,2,3
4,5,6 I'm in a fix
who will be my valentine 4,5,6
7,8,9 who's on the line
will you be my valentine 7,8,9

now did that attract any guys? we will have to see...and if you do want to be my valentine i just might sing that song for you. *wink *wink

I hope you will know that i am totally joking about this whole thing. but it would be nice to have a Valentine but I am in class all day on wed. well until 8:30pm-so i will not get to enjoy the day of love too much. :(--well have a nice day.-Manda Panda

the best part....

You know this morning i am sitting here cutting out little farm animal shapes for my visual aid for my lesson I am going to teach first and second graders. It occurred to me that it is so much fun doing this task. How many people can say that in college they get to cut and paste, and color and draw like you were in Elementary school again. And I think I am especially lucky because I get to sing songs like old McDonald, Itsy Bitsy spider, Wheels on the bus and if your happy and you know it, making children laugh and have fun.

Oh it is so fulfilling. I love being a Music Education Major...It really takes me back to when i am learning these songs and just make me happy once again. It is amazing what little thing can bring you such joy in your life.

Well I have been keeping very busy with school and life. I have been taking my tests to see if i have learning disabilities. I think all this testing has really started to make me sad and depressed. A lot of old suppressed feelings, that i have kept to my self all these years, of frustration, self put downs, loneliness has resurfaced. Lets just say that these tests are really making me feel stupid because I am not able to finish them and especially in the numerical test i had to take yesterday, I did not know the answers so i just guessed on them. I also started to fall asleep during one of them. That is what happens when I have to read a lot with out my new little blueish gray overlays. It is very stressful and scary for me to find out if I do have any learning disabilities because right now I fell like I have missed out on so much and I have to relearn everything over again. but I can stop being so hard on my self for not being able to to the work like I am suppose to be doing and get help. I just feel like I am always behind in school and I can never catch up let alone be ahead of the game. I feel dumb when I have to read out loud because it takes me forever to pronounce words and comprehend them. I will read something and have no clue what the meaning is of what i just read. It takes me twice as much time to get anything accomplished and I am just sick of it. I am just confused and feel very helpless and dumb most of the time. Especially when I am in a class full of smart people and they just start going off on the subject and I am left in the dust still trying to figure out what 2+2 is. it is frustrating and it has been that way all my life. My teacher would say that I am lazy or i will get it eventually. They would pass me because I was a good kid even though I could not do my multiplications or division, spell words, read very well, or could not comprehend what I read. It is really sad. I got good at observing people and what they said so that I can learn what the assignment was. I remember faking that I was reading the books in Elementary, Middle and part of High school. I think I really started to read entire books when I was in 11th grade. that is really pathetic. To be honest I still suck at spelling, don't know how to do simple math like multiplication or division. These basics I am lacking have made it really difficult to be successful in life let alone in college. I keep getting the stress from my teachers that I better start to kick up my level of work because "I am going to be a teacher after all." which is true but it is hard to run a marathon when you can not even walk yet. Right now I feel like I am still at the still stumbling over and falling down stage when I should be at the training to run the marathon. If that makes any sense.

Last week I told my cello teacher that I was getting tested for learning disabilities and I told her about the Scotopic thing. she told me "that would explains why your school work is at the level that it is at." That is sad that she has noticed something like that when she has not really seen my school work, but yet she had not even talked to me about it. I do not know. well i better study some more for my test in my Humans and other Animals class--I wish i did not have to re-take that class over again. pray that I do better on this test than last semester.~Manda Panda

Feb. 1

Hey happy Feb. 1st-

Well i have been very busy this week. I have not only been trying to catch up in all my school work but also I have been playing a lot on my cello due to them 3 hour dress rehearsals for the opera Aida. it is going to be good if you like opera. I am not to partial to the high singing. it hurts my ears, especially if they are right behind me belting out them high notes. Yikes!

I am now doing concert orchestra. I am playing the Viola. It is quite challenging but very fun. it is funny my friend Chue who plays the viola is playing the cello in concert and i the cellist am playing the viola. It is fun.

I did get screened for Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome this week. If you are wondering what that is. well Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome is "based on the theory that certain wavelengths of light interfere with the visual pathways between the eye and the brain."
"Light sensitivity and contrast problems. People with strong symptoms of the syndrome find it very difficult to read black text on white paper, particularly when the paper is slightly shiny.
Restricted field of clear vision
Poor depth perception
Attention and concentration difficulties
Context blindness and poor object recognition
Seeing the part and losing the whole " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotopic_Sensitivity_Syndrome

It is still a new kind of thing, but I took a test and i will have to continue testing for it but for now the learning center people gave me some blue-gray and gray overlays to put over my papers. I am actually really impressed at how much they help me read. I have cut my reading time in half and I actually understand what I am reading. It is so exciting to be actually learning things and being able to get through my homework. I still have to get tested to see if i have other learning disabilities but it is a start. Now if only my music could have these overlays on it. Maybe I would be able to play the music better. *grin*

Other than that nothing much has been going on. have a nice day and try to come see the opera.


"Aida
Magnificent pageantry is coupled with intrigue in Verdi’s fabulous masterpiece. The CSU Opera Theatre, Symphony, and Choruses join forces with Opera Fort Collins and members of the Fort Collins Symphony to present the finest in concert opera. This citywide performing arts collective is now a tradition following the success of productions of Carmen in 2004 and Flying Dutchman in 2006. With this collaboration, they tell the story of Aida, an Ethiopian princess, who is captured and brought into slavery in Egypt. A military commander, Radames, struggles to choose between his love for her and his loyalty to the Pharaoh.

February 2, 3 - 7:30 p.m. - University Center for the Arts, Griffin Concert Hall, 1400 Remington St.
$20/Students, $30/Seniors, $40/General Public
Tickets available only through the Lincoln Center Box Office at www.fcgov.com/lctix" http://sota.colostate.edu/about/press/spring07/EventInfoOpera.pdf

Chau chau-Manda Panda

My week sucks

(Monday before being tortured)

Man my last 2 days have really sucked! If you are wondering were i am here is my story! *Caution-i do write in detail-if you do not like to hear or read about Doctors or bloody noses that do not end then you can stop reading now.

My adventure started on Monday. I was trying to eat lunch when i got a bloody nose. well after 15 minutes had elapsed and it was not stopping i went to the medical center on campus. it was 20minutes before the actually saw me. keep in mind i am still bleeding. well after 2 hours at the medical center and 2 applications in each side of my nose of this stuff that was suppose to stop you nose from bleeding i was released and all looked good. they told me if it started up again to go to the emergency room.

well 3 hrs later...
My absolutely wonderful roommate drove me to Kaiser which is in Longmont, to the emergency room because guess what it started back up again. when we got there i got this wonderful blue nose pincher's put on my nose. They would be great things to have if ever a skunk came around. oh by the way Jeanette i have one for you. hehehe.

well after getting my vitals and telling them my story. the Doctors decided that the cause of my bloody nose was the flownase stuff that i had stopped using recently. it can cause for big bloody nose problems. well they had me take out that icky brown goo stuff that the health center put in my nose and they numbed my nose by putting cotton balls with this blue stuff on it up my nose. the next part was absolutely terrible. I did not know you could have so much pain. they had packed my left side of my nose. it felt like they were going to break my nose. after crying and me uncontrollably shaking i got discharged. by then it was about 11:30pm. keep in mind that i had been up since 3:35am because i had to work. was was tired and hurting and wanted to go home. well as i was leaving my right side started to bleed again. i lost it because i did not want to go through that much pain again.
they took me back and the nice Doctor lady decided to put a longer stint in (which is what the sponge like things they put in your nose to pack your nose) in both sides. i just wanted to go home.

They put an I.V. in me so that they could drug me up. they gave me this Narcotic like drug which made me very happy and feel funny as well as a pain drug. even with the drugs it hurt so much when they put them things up my nose. it hurt even to open my eyes. it was miserable. they sent me home. and it looked like i had a mustache. when we got home it was 1:00am. on Tuesday. 2 more hours and i would have been up 24 hours and i was just tortured to get my nose to stop. I also was my mom's birthday. I felt bad for her because she was taking care of me instead of having an enjoyable birthday.

Jeanette stayed the night at my house because it was very late. I did not sleep very much that night. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror. it frightened me. i was pale and my nose was very fat and it looked like i was beaten up. It was so painful once the medication wore off. i felt so weak from the blood loss that i had. i had to suffer most of the day because my regular Doctor could not see me until later that afternoon. when i got in to the doctors office i had a lot of people staring at me. i guess i did not look very well from what my grandma and my mom tells me. My Doctor was so nice to me. she saw that i was in a lot of pain. The good news was when she took out the packing my bloody nose had stopped. YEA! the bad new was i still was hurting.

I did get some good pain medication. today I woke up and my face is still swollen and hurting and i feel so drained from blood loss. My Grandma came over and my Aunt Paula came over too to check on me. My grandma stayed and watched pride and prejudice and Memoirs of a Geisha. she liked both movies. I also had to chase a dog out of the house. (we do not have a dog but 2 cats) i am not sure how that dog got in the house or who's dog it was but my cats were sure not happy. right now i am feeling better. my face still hurts and i still feel sick but my bloody nose has not come back. *grin* I am going to be back tomorrow to go to some of my classes and i am getting excited for Friday. My new little cousin is going to be born .well Ta ta and i pray that you all are having a much better week than I am. ~Manda Panda

My weekend at the stock show

Wow what a weekend.
I had so much fun with my family at the National Western stock show on Sat. This sounds dorky but i do really enjoy watching Rodeos. It is amazing how crazy you have to be to a rodeo cowboy. I would not want to be on that bucking bronco or get jarred around like a bull rider. My Grandpa believe it or not was a saddled bucking bronco rider when he was young. He likes to tell us about how he would try and stay on. He is a cutie.

I saw a lot of Cowboys but I did not get any number from them. lol just joking. The real reason for our adventure at the Stock show was to see my little cousin Isaiah who is 6 do mutton busting. He was so cute. if you watch the video -you can see that he did very well. he stayed on the sheep the longest and won! he said the best part about the riding the sheep was that he got to kiss the "hot hot hottie rodeo queen." below are some pictures i took and some video of the events. enjoy.