My week sucks

(Monday before being tortured)

Man my last 2 days have really sucked! If you are wondering were i am here is my story! *Caution-i do write in detail-if you do not like to hear or read about Doctors or bloody noses that do not end then you can stop reading now.

My adventure started on Monday. I was trying to eat lunch when i got a bloody nose. well after 15 minutes had elapsed and it was not stopping i went to the medical center on campus. it was 20minutes before the actually saw me. keep in mind i am still bleeding. well after 2 hours at the medical center and 2 applications in each side of my nose of this stuff that was suppose to stop you nose from bleeding i was released and all looked good. they told me if it started up again to go to the emergency room.

well 3 hrs later...
My absolutely wonderful roommate drove me to Kaiser which is in Longmont, to the emergency room because guess what it started back up again. when we got there i got this wonderful blue nose pincher's put on my nose. They would be great things to have if ever a skunk came around. oh by the way Jeanette i have one for you. hehehe.

well after getting my vitals and telling them my story. the Doctors decided that the cause of my bloody nose was the flownase stuff that i had stopped using recently. it can cause for big bloody nose problems. well they had me take out that icky brown goo stuff that the health center put in my nose and they numbed my nose by putting cotton balls with this blue stuff on it up my nose. the next part was absolutely terrible. I did not know you could have so much pain. they had packed my left side of my nose. it felt like they were going to break my nose. after crying and me uncontrollably shaking i got discharged. by then it was about 11:30pm. keep in mind that i had been up since 3:35am because i had to work. was was tired and hurting and wanted to go home. well as i was leaving my right side started to bleed again. i lost it because i did not want to go through that much pain again.
they took me back and the nice Doctor lady decided to put a longer stint in (which is what the sponge like things they put in your nose to pack your nose) in both sides. i just wanted to go home.

They put an I.V. in me so that they could drug me up. they gave me this Narcotic like drug which made me very happy and feel funny as well as a pain drug. even with the drugs it hurt so much when they put them things up my nose. it hurt even to open my eyes. it was miserable. they sent me home. and it looked like i had a mustache. when we got home it was 1:00am. on Tuesday. 2 more hours and i would have been up 24 hours and i was just tortured to get my nose to stop. I also was my mom's birthday. I felt bad for her because she was taking care of me instead of having an enjoyable birthday.

Jeanette stayed the night at my house because it was very late. I did not sleep very much that night. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror. it frightened me. i was pale and my nose was very fat and it looked like i was beaten up. It was so painful once the medication wore off. i felt so weak from the blood loss that i had. i had to suffer most of the day because my regular Doctor could not see me until later that afternoon. when i got in to the doctors office i had a lot of people staring at me. i guess i did not look very well from what my grandma and my mom tells me. My Doctor was so nice to me. she saw that i was in a lot of pain. The good news was when she took out the packing my bloody nose had stopped. YEA! the bad new was i still was hurting.

I did get some good pain medication. today I woke up and my face is still swollen and hurting and i feel so drained from blood loss. My Grandma came over and my Aunt Paula came over too to check on me. My grandma stayed and watched pride and prejudice and Memoirs of a Geisha. she liked both movies. I also had to chase a dog out of the house. (we do not have a dog but 2 cats) i am not sure how that dog got in the house or who's dog it was but my cats were sure not happy. right now i am feeling better. my face still hurts and i still feel sick but my bloody nose has not come back. *grin* I am going to be back tomorrow to go to some of my classes and i am getting excited for Friday. My new little cousin is going to be born .well Ta ta and i pray that you all are having a much better week than I am. ~Manda Panda

My weekend at the stock show

Wow what a weekend.
I had so much fun with my family at the National Western stock show on Sat. This sounds dorky but i do really enjoy watching Rodeos. It is amazing how crazy you have to be to a rodeo cowboy. I would not want to be on that bucking bronco or get jarred around like a bull rider. My Grandpa believe it or not was a saddled bucking bronco rider when he was young. He likes to tell us about how he would try and stay on. He is a cutie.

I saw a lot of Cowboys but I did not get any number from them. lol just joking. The real reason for our adventure at the Stock show was to see my little cousin Isaiah who is 6 do mutton busting. He was so cute. if you watch the video -you can see that he did very well. he stayed on the sheep the longest and won! he said the best part about the riding the sheep was that he got to kiss the "hot hot hottie rodeo queen." below are some pictures i took and some video of the events. enjoy.

what a crazy Wed.

Wow! what a crazy day i had today. It was my second first day of classes. new classes today. Jeanette and I started off the day with playing some Racket Ball at the rec at 6:30am. It was very exciting for me because, i have never played Racket ball so it was quite an experience. We now declared Wed. as Racket ball day. It was a blast i recommend it.

My first class was canceled today and on Friday (yea!). my first class that I went to was my Conducting class. This is going to be fun. I got the opportunity today to feel like Harry Potter when he went to buy his wand. I found my baton that i am going to use for conducting. it is very exciting. I am only afraid of all the reading that i have to do for that class.

After that class my friend Chue and I walked over to the General Service building so that I can make an appointment to get tested for learning disabilities. This was a very big step for me. to actually go into that office and say that I wanted to be tested for a learning disability was a bit scary for me. I have been saying for 4 years now that I was going to get tested but chickened out on going and i have just struggled, and tried to look past that I have a problem. so I go on Friday to get tested. Now I will finally know what the heck the matter is with me. I was happy to have one of my close friends around to go in with me. Thank you Chue.

I am not really looking forward to another fun filled semester of Humans and other Animals class. that class is really hard for me. hopefully i can now understand what the heck i am doing in that class the second time around.

I hate walking around campus because of all the ice and snow and it is so cold. Tonight when i was going to dinner i slipped and fell on the ice. i scrapped my knee a little bit and gave my self a bruise. well on the way back a slipped again at a different spot on my butt in front of a group of guys. now that was funny and embarrassing. now i am sore from my falls but i will live. then as Jeanette and i were leaving to go to steel band I got this big time bloody nose for no apparent reason. not a good couple of hours. Isn't it funny how your awesome day can turn bad for a couple of hours and then turn right back around.

I think the ultimate end to my day was steel band. It was Jeanette's first steel band class. she was doing very well. I got to play on one piece called Tobago Jam. so that was fun. other than that i was playing on the Break Drum and not very good either. My teacher keeps asking me if i am left handed. I keep telling him no i am right handed. and then he asks why I lead with my left hand when play on the break drum. i tell him that i did not know. then he is all like i would give my right arm to be ambidextrous. Yet i don't think i am that. *shrug* but i think it is funny that he does and we have the same conversation every time he notices that i play funny. oh well.

first day of school

Don't you just love the first day of school. new classes, new people for the most part new learning experiences. it is so fun. I love buying new school supplies. maybe that is why i want to be a teacher.

Today was fun. I worked which is always fun. then i had my first class of Orchestration. In case you are wondering what this is, it is a class on how to arrange music for different instrumentation. it is going to be interesting. I already got homework for that.

As i was standing in line to get lunch (45 min.) there was 3 girls standing in front of me. they were just talking non-stop about Anime. This was so interesting to me because i know oh so little about Anime. Then i got to thinking of how as humans we create these little worlds of interest. they all have their own language for things and stories. I think it is cool. What i mean is, have you ever talked with a group of people and they start in talking and really getting into a subject like video games, music, anime, sports, ect. Take guys and video games. I am getting a little glimpse of that world. When my guy friends start talking about video games i have no clue what they are talking about because i am not really apart of the gaming world. I am always amazed about how little i know about the world and how much i really want to know.

Then after my wonderful lunch of Chicken tortilla soup from spoons, I went to orchestra. I was at first happy to see that I was still 5th chair but then I found out that because we got 3 new cellist that everyone chairs are pending. but at least we have 8 cellos again and we are all very good. It is exciting to have new talent that can make our section strong. I think I am going to practice more this semester for all my ensembles. but my true preference in ensembles is my quartet that i am in. the ACME string quartet. it is so fun to play with your friends and really all share a liking for the music. we are a team. orchestra was ok. we still have a ways to go but the opera that we are doing is going to be cool. 80 players on stage as well as guest opera singers. it is going to be a massive event.

I got my music for steel band tomorrow. I am excited to start playing again. the music sounds very cool. My teacher Don, has invited a very famous composer of steel band music and player to come play with us and play his music. it is going to be so fun. His name is Ray Holman. this semester we also get to go to a high school in Brighton to play a concert with them. that is going to be fun to be able to play with other steel band people.

I am also excited about a quartet that I found out about today. Today The Pacifica Quartet was playing at the UCA tonight. I looked them up and i found out that they actually did a recording of the Mendelssohn quartet that i played last semester. we had look all over to hear that and i found it today. it was very nice to hear professionals play those pieces.

On my floor we got a new RA (Resident assistant). her name is Johanna or Jojo or MoJo. well i was having dinner with her, another new RA here at the dorm i live at and my friend Chue. well funny thing happened as i was trying to drink my water. i accidentally sprayed water all over my new RA. I had taken a drink of my water and i started to cough or choking and the water all sprayed out all over her and her food. I was so embarrassed. she was laughing at me as well as the other people around. after many apologies and a lot of laughing we came back to the hall.

Starting since Sunday has been a star wars marathon at my residence hall. It has been fun watching all the star wars movies. we watched Episode IV A new Hope tonight. it would have been better if i was not so tired and not feeling very good. i think my cold is returning. well good night after a very long day.~Manda Panda

Labels

Do you ever feel like you are ever trapped in a box by words? Like the world puts labels on you and you can not escape them. They are too fat, stick thin, ugly, loser, un-cool, jock, band geek, geek, dork, nerd, spinster, slut, and the list goes on and on and on.. Before you know it you fall and start to accept these labels even though you know deep down that that is not who you are. Why must we make fun of others or your self? Is it to make others feel good about them selves or to feel powerful and above others?





You have a choice. you can either let these labels define you and let them suffocate your true self or you can rise above them and find a new path where you can be you. You might think that i am full of it and that i do not know what I am talking about. But trust me I do. It might not be from other people putting Labels on me but I am guilty of putting these labels on my self. This too can be a dangerous thing because it is something that is hard to talk about to others even though others have too experienced this unspoken phenomena.

It is no wonder that people feel bad about them selves. not only do you get that type of rejection from the people around you but also from media. It is something that has been going on for ages.


check out some of the images and videos i have found

Now who are these people? Am i suppose to look like a Barbie doll to have a happy life and to get that dream guy? the awnser to this should be "NO" but some might say yes due to the brain washing of self image we all have had through our lives. i found a vintage commercial about Barbie. in the song advertisers put "barbie you are Beautiful. ---My Barbie doll is small and Petite. her clothes and figure looks so neat."
now what kind of message is that sending young girls? well watch the video and make your own opinions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmhXBeLi2t8

For all who read this, i just wanted you to know no matter what labels people tell you or what label you put on your self. I want you to look deep down and find your self, your inner strength. Trust me. You are strong, confident, beautiful and you have a lot to offer in this world. God did not make any Junk when he made you. Do not be afraid to show others who you truly are. It does not matter what they think of you. It is what you think of your self, your true self. Hurting your self to be beautiful is not the answer. Know this the people on ads, or magazines they are not always what they appear and you will go far. Be strong, be your self, be well, love a lot and be happy. Live life to the fullest. ~Manda Panda

Hey

Hello my friends. Sorry i have been busy enjoying the rest of my break at home. I have been exercising, petting and holding my kitties,taking pictures, trying to feel better (which i do by the way) and knitting a blanket for my self. i am excited to finish it. but it is going to take a while to make. I am working on block 4 out of 36 so i got a bit to go.

I go back up to school tomorrow due to the weather. i am not enjoying packing all my stuff up but I am excited to see my friends again. I am not real excited to start class though. one class i have to re-take and i get to check out the Learning center on Monday hopefully. I am going there so that i can get tested to see if i have a learning problem. i think i do. I have suspected it for quite some time and this year i made a promise to my self to get it checked out. if i don't have a learning problem than the people at the learning center can help me in other ways to be successful in school.
one good thing about re-taking a class that is going to be the same as last semester is that i don't have to buy the book again and i got all the notes and past test/study guides to work off of. i better get a good grade.

Today is a very cool day. today is my big sister's 25th birthday. wow! 25 years. that is a lot. we are going to eat dinner at Red Robbin with the family. it is going to be fun. i made a cake for her and something special. :) It always seems like it is cold and snowing on her birthday.

I am not very happy with the cold weather that we are going to get. crazy weather. hey summer come back!!!
well i better get back to packing my stuff up. catch you all later.~Manda Panda

sick

don't you just hate it when you are sick. well i have been sick since the 30th of December. but today to add to the already runny nose, sneezing and sore throat is the loss of my voice. i sound like a quite squeek toy. At least it is not Strep. :) but i wish that i felt better.

nothing too important than that has happened to me. my mom made some awesome green chili. it was so good. well i hope that you are all doing a lot better than i am. if you are bored you can check out my new pictures i took today on my other blog. just click the link that is called a year in pictures under blogs i like to read. enjoy.

Happy new years

Well it is officially Jan. 1, 2007. So happy new year to all of you. Here on the home front i have been feeling under the weather. I have been trying to prevent sickness. yesterday i thought i might be getting strep but it was not. I am feel a lot better today so that is always great.
My family spent new year's eve down the house at which my sister is living at. she lives with a wonderful family-the Dolph family, (Karen, Matt, Katie, Ben, Maddie and Mikey) I got to even play on Ben's new drum set. i was not very good at it but it was fun. :) we did not stay there till midnight. we came home and i fell asleep watching a movie with my mom. she woke me up to see the dropping of the ball in New York. then 2 minutes later i was sleeping in bed. ya i am not much for staying up late. oh well. I am bummed that the Denver Broncos did not make it into post season. but hopefully next season we got a winning team.

Today i got my new glasses. i am really excited. it is the first time i get plastic frames. they are quite fun. My Hannah and Daisy Mae are here doing well. They are currently in the middle of their naps. They sure love to sleep. but that is something cats love to do. :) well i hope all of you have a nice day and may your new year and your goals for 2007 be successful and happy.

just ask your self this year-what greatness will i encounter? what greatness will i achieve? what greatness will I give to the world?

I have great hopes for you all. go forth and prosper

_oh check out my 2007 picture project at http://mylifepicproject.blogspot.com/