lonely

It is amazing how lonely a person can get. I am so use to having lots of people and animals around when i am at home. then i come back up here to school and i feel like i am cut off and left out of the loop from my family. ya i call here and there and talk on messenger, but it is not quite the same. I have a very awesome roommate up here but she is extremely busy, as most music people are, and i find that i am here in my room alone more often than not. I do hang out with my friends but i feel like I am back in high school all over again. Alone, putting up a smile so that people won't suspect that i am not happy being by my self. i need to get out of this self pity mode. it does not suite me very much.
it is funny the majority of my friends that are my close friends are guys except for a few girls.
right now i really want a hug. i hate being alone. *sigh*

well my day is going good other than being lonely. I had to go to CLP Junior high. it is a cute school. very small compared to my middle school. I have orchestra in a while. we are just playing Beethoven's 8th today. Oh joy. i am not sure if my arm will last. i am in a serous need of a massage on my shoulder. it is so tight and it is making my arm and hand hurt. it is from playing a lot and sleeping on it wrong. well i have to go get my cello. i will write in the morning. ~Manda Panda