a walk in my moccasins-A refection

Hello all. Well School is winding down to an end. This is the last week before finals also known as Dead week. Not too long ago I was writing my scholarship renewal essay for my First generation Scholarship. This has gotten me to think about my experiences in life and made me realise how lucky I am to actually be here and to be able to experience so many things in my life.

Not many people know who I truly am. This is partly because I am afraid of what they will think of me. But I am not afraid any more. I have discovered that by sharing who I am not only makes me a confident person but gives others a chance to learn from my experiences too. So I want to let you take a walk in my moccasins.

Every person has a unique life story. Some are happy, some are sad. Mine is a little of both. People know I am a Music Ed student at CSU and that I play the cello and I love to knit and sew and dance and sing and watch movies. I am apparently know for my smile because that is what I do a lot and that I am happy most of the time. These are only thing that I allow people to see, some sort of mask that I have developed. Yes theses are things are still apart of me but it is not really who I am.

I am Amanda and I am 21 non drinker and non smoker. I have an Amazing mother, a father who is disabled for 21 years now and who is a true insperation and an older sister who I absolutely love and wish that I could be as good as her. I have 2 cute cats, named Hannah and Daisy Mae. I am a proud Catholic. In both sides of my family I am the only one who is actually going to college for music. I hope to change this fact. I have some family members who sing or play guitar but never had hard core training-they mostly sing Mexican music or play in a rock band.

Mexican music is part of my Heritage. I grew up with my Grandpo (on my mom's side) playing his guitar to us grand kids singing Mexican music and him telling us stories some of them of when he was a kid Growing up in New Mexico on his families cattle ranch or old Mexican folk tales. they would be in Spanglish of course. My Grandparents on my mom's side did not go very far in school because they have always worked. My Grandpa went up to the 6th grade i think and my Grandma only the 3rd grade. Hard to believe this but they did and they worked as migrant field workers and odd jobs here and there all their lives up and down Colorado and New Mexico. As i was growing up my Grandma worked at a Nursing home as a CNA and my Grandpa was retired from King Soopers. I did not really know my Grandparents on my fathers side. My Grandma Vicki died when I was 2 and my Grandpa Tony was not in the picture and died when I was 8 or 9 I think. I am mostly close with my mom's side of the family.

So I am a first generation Student here at CSU. both of my parents went as far as High School and it was a big deal for them to graduate and make it that far. Now I get a chance to be apart of the first generation to go to college and graduate. If it was not for my Mother who would tell my sister and I that we need to go to college and get that degree I do not know where I would have ended up at. In the 4 years that I have been here, I have meet some wonderful and not so wonderful people but mostly wonderful. I have gotten to see the beginnings of a great incoming conductor named Wes Kenny. He started here my freshman year and man was the orchestra not at the level it is now. I have got to see world class musicians play and those who are working diligently to master their instruments. I got to play on Museum piece instruments, conduct an orchestra and band. I have gotten to see my dream come true and getting to teach something that I love to others and share the Joy and power that music has with them. Every day I am here I work hard just so that I can be happy and soak up as much information that I can so that I can carve my way through life.

well I think that sums me up for the most part. Thank you if you have read this note of mine. I just had get out of my box of an image I have created and writing is the best way I know how to fill that box. I hope all of you have the best of luck with finals have a nice day.

Fun times

I know last week I was Raving about swing dancing and this week I am going to again. I just can not help it. I got to dance tonight with so many good dancers. It was so cool. I was doing things that I have never imagined that I would be doing. I got to dance with this one guy named Sean (sp?) He has been dancing for a long time i guess. I just loved watching his facial expressions, But I must say dancing with him was AMAZING! I love what he told me. "It's OK if you mess up. Dancing is just suppose to be fun." and that is how he danced. for fun. he twirled, turned, swung me around and there was a point in time were I felt like i was flying. When you dance the girls have to trust their partner a lot. were ever they lead you you follow even if you have no clue what they are doing, they know what they are doing and you have to trust them.

I got to dance with this older guy he had to be about 56 (he said he graduated from CSU in 1972) but he use to teach people how to dance like the fox trot and the Jitter bug and other dances. well I got to dance with him and he taught me about frame and how to follow your partner and I learned the Fox trot -all kinds of cool stuff. I also got to dance with my friend Eddie. He is really good too and he taught me the jive and i was teaching him some tap dancing moves. (yes I got some dance moves up my selves too).

well besides dancing today i had departmental recital with my trio. I think it went very well. we now know what it feels like to play in a larger room. :) I have not been too focused on HW today. for the past 2 days I have been doing paper after paper after planning lessons to teach ect... so I needed to get out and have some fun.

If you are interested in going with me Next WED it is the last dance before finals. it is totally free. it is going to be at the Lory Student Center near sweet sensations. it starts at 7:15 with lessons on how to dance and then they have a dance after were you can try out your new moves. it is a blast. :)-Manda Panda

I am in Love

Hello all. sorry i have not written in awhile. I have just been so busy with concerts lots and lots of dress rehearsals, homework and teaching that I have not had time to write. I have had 2 major concerts, steel band and Symphonic Orchestra. Steel band Rehearsals kicked my butt because we rehearsed outside/during class about 21 hours from March 23-April 6 and then we had our concert on the 6th. that is a lot of standing up BUt we sounded the best yet. It was such a blast to play. The orchestra concert was great last week only my back started to give me trouble from over use. I have been having to carry a really heavy backpack, my cello and Viola around campus. Some times all at once or a combination of them. I felt like a pack horse. I have been living off of PPJ most days because I have class after class after class. sometimes I do not get to eat anything at all. :( but thing are getting better. Next week I have 4 concerts so we will have to see how this works out.

Now I titled this Blog I am in love because I found a new interest. I love to swing dance. It is so much fun! here is a little of what the kids who sing dance here at CSU can do.



I learned how to do the basic Charleston and the basic Lindy Hop. I think the best part was being dipped and doing a "frog jump" and turns. I just had a blast. Hey guys here is a helpful hint. Girls love to dance and they need a partner. so learn how to dance and you might even get a girl. *wink* I was really impressed by all the very good dancers at the swing dancing club. and some of them had only done it for 7-8 months and they are just impressive. I think I am going to take up swing dancing or ballroom dancing over the summer. *Grin*

good gone to bad--lost...lost

Don't you just hate it when a good day goes sour by one event? I was having such a good morning this morning. I got 8 hours of sleep (which is very rare in my life), I had a good breakfast, got to observe at an elementary school for my music ed class. then it happened...I noticed that my beautiful butterfly necklace that i always have on was missing. (see the picture) All i had around my neck was my chain. This has made me very sad. I went looking for it but I cannot find it. I remember still having it when i was at the elementary school, but somewhere from there to here in my room it has been lost forever. :(

This necklace was very special to me because my Nina (godmother) gave it to me for my 21st birthday this last summer and I love butterflies. I know it is only a material thing but it has grown to become part of me. my special something that hung around my neck and has traveled many miles with me. I wish I still had it but it flew out of my life. I hope if it is found it will bring that person as much joy as it has brought me.

Bitter sweet

If you saw me last week I was not doing very well. I ended up with a really bad head cold. I am still getting over it but i am doing much better.

Friday was so awesome. I had to teach and since i was not feeling very good, Kevin, a singer from my ed class who also was teaching 1/2nd grade helped me teach. Team teaching is kind of fun because you have more than your self to entertain the students. But at the end of the 45 min class, I had 5 kids come up to me and gave me hugs telling me not to leave them. (I was leaving them because in my ed class we have to switch classes to get experience with different age levels.) I realized then that I have grown attached to them kids. They are all so amazing. What they pick up on and how different they all are. still discovering what life is about, it is just so wonderful to be around. I get to teach 3/4th graders this week. I am not sure how this is going to work. It will be tuff to pick up from what another person has set up in the class.

Friday was a sad end to the day. One of my second cousins died. He died of Leukemia and of phenomena at the age of 54. It is sad that we have to lose such wonderful people. I guess that is why we have to treasure life and those around us because you never know when God will call them to join Him in heaven.

Yesterday (Sat.) I when to the Denver march pow wow. I go almost every year with my parents since before i was born. I love going to the pow wow and seeing so many people that look like I do and take part in my heritage. I love the beautiful bead work, dancing, drums and Indian Fry bread. I think that Indian Fry bread is so good. But it is sad that it is not very good for you. If you did not know I am Native American as part of my heritage. 1/8 Apache, and pueblo Indian. I am also Spanish and French. I have always taken an interest in my Native American side. I see a lot of my family traditions are traditions that have been passed down from the Native American Roots. I think it is really cool to be able to see what things survive through out the years. It seems like I come from a long line of story tellers. My family Loves to tell stories. We have so many why not share them. I just wish that a lot of them had been written down so that they could be documented and captured. a lot of them are so charming. hey if you want to see pictures of the pow wow they are posted up on my other blog. "A year in Pictures"

Well I better do some HW and enjoy the rest of my evening.

sad day :(

Tis a sad thing when spring break is over. I am wishing that I had another week. i might even get that week due to illness. I came down with a nice cold. which is putting me at ease because it has been about 8 days since I was exposed to my sister who has been sick with whooping cough. Now i have this nasty cough that has been keeping me up since 1:30am this morning. I have been on antibiotics for exposure but I am not so sure they have been working. I have 6 more days but I have been showing the symptoms of whooping cough. :( sad day.

I am at work right now and I just got done reading a notice that was sent out to all office managers about someone who was diagnosed with whooping cough here on campus and it says that if you are coughing you need to see a Dr. --I am thinking i might have to go in...

this sucks.

time seems to go by so slowly right now...
I am bored. I just want to go back to bed actually. It is only 4:58am right now. and no one is up. I am watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire. It is such a good movie. I love that Krum. ;) It is so bright in the office. yikes. I guess that is one way to keep us early desk workers up in the wee hours of the morning.

*groan* my coughing is getting worse. this is not fun.

SPRING BREAK!!!

Yea finally spring break has arrived. A time of fun excitement, adventure and relaxation form the mounds of HW and classes. Well this is what you perceive as spring break. For me I planned on relaxing at home, doing all the wonderful HW that I have been assigned and doing something fun with Jeanette on Wed.

Well looks like plans are changing. Guess how I get to spend my first part of spring break...QUARANTINED! Yes indeedy...I get to be quarantined because my poor sister is now a Health Hazard and has created an outbreak of Whooping cough (pertussis). She exposed my parents to it and we just found out about it yesterday as we got home. the people from Tri-county health department called us.

Well I guess whooping cough is very contagious. when some one comes in contact with the infected person, whether it be a verbal contact for 15 min or what ever that person is most likely that was not infected is now infected. This brings me to my situation. my sister has been sick since this weekend...she gave out host in church (the wine to be more specific) -if you don not know us catholics drink out of the same cup usually...so not good if you are a public health hazard...she progressively got sick over the week and my parents and rest of the family (except me, because i was in Fo Co) came in contact with her. but I did come in contact with my parents at my steel band concert (so Jeanette if you are reading this you might want to call your Dr. to see if you have to take some meds. because you came in contact with my parents this week and they have been exposed to it) So now i am getting to take meds. for 24 hrs so i hope.

Man I am just think about how many people I have come in contact with--(hundreds of people) my mom too and Joy it is truly amazing...um so I am not sure what to tell you all if you have come in contact with me. because I am not sure if I am a walking heath hazard like my mom and sister or not but just wanted you all to know just so you all could be on the look out for some symptoms. I think it starts off like a really bad cold with a very bad cough. the incubation for it to actually develop is 6-20 days before you get symptoms...so just some FYI.

well gotta go eat some breakfast... i hope you are all enjoying your break...*sigh