it is Amazing

It is just amazing how busy your life can be when you are helping out your family.

Now that I have been off from school I have been trying to look for a Job but I have not really had the opportunity to. I have Been busy with my family. From family vacations to baby sitting my godson and Isabel to helping out with my grandparents it seems like I am always doing something.

But I love helping out my family and making their day just a bit better. Yesterday I got to help take care of my grandparents who really need the help. My grandma is still sick with her hip and wrist but is at home now and is in need of help. My poor Grandpa tries his best to help my Grandma as best as he could but is having trouble going out to get groceries and stuff like that because he fears that my Grandma will fall and hurt her self again.

So yesterday I drove him to the bank and the grocery store while my Mom stayed with my Grandma. It was so much fun getting to go shopping with my Grandpa. He let me drive his big truck and he started to tell me stories about how he would drive, when he was little, on his horse to towns that were from Thornton to as far as Castle Rock and back to go get his mom 50 lbs of sugar so that she could can the fruit from their orchard that was on their ranch in Las Vegas New Mexico, on Canyon Larga. he was telling me how his mom would let him help her make bread in the outdoor oven (horno) or when he would have to milk

the cows and his mom would make cheese and he would have to go on horseback to sell the cheese.

It is so different when I hear stories of my Grandparents childhood and compare it to the experiences that I have had. They did not have electricity, washing machines/dryers, electric stoves, computers, phones in their house, TV, fast food places or cars when they were kids growing up on the farms. They worked and did some school, but mostly worked and helped their parents. Then you fast forward to now where I consider my self to be very privileged. I do not have to worry about having Rattle snakes in my house or being cold because the fire in the stove went out. I do not live in an Adobe house that my parents made like my Grandparents did and their parents before them. It is interesting to think about how much has changed since my grandparents were young and how much things have not. family, religion, working hard, culture are all things that are Central to how my mom's side of the family works. These are things that have not changed much. I don't know what do you think?

trip to New Mexico-Adventures at Walmart part 2

Hello-
well last week I had gone on a trip to new Mexico. I got to see things i have never seen and re visit the places I went to when I was a little kid. It was quite fun to go on that family vacation. If you want to see pictures of it you can look on my other blog http://mylifepicproject.blogspot.com/

Well I must tell you all about this one incident that happened to us when we were in Espanola new Mexico. My family Visited the church in Chimayo and after we decided to go to WalMart for some pillows for my sister.

I dislike going into Walmarts. they make me claustrophobic and I find that that store no matter where it is you will always find Mean, cranky, rude people with bratty kids running around in mass quantity. Maybe this is just me but this is what I observe. If you are looking for an excuse to get mad i say go to walmart. It is just burning with hatred. well I can tell you that it is no different in New Mexico. You find the same kind of people in the walmart store there as you do here in Colorado. I think they need to work on calming people down while they shop...

My poor sister felt the Wrath of some very rude and angry man as we were checking out from the store. Joy had gotten in line before my mom and I did. we found her and she gestured for us to come in line with her too. I was a bit hesitant about this because we all were paying separate and I saw she had someone behind her and we would be cutting him in line : I know I hate it when people do that to me. She saw that I was a bit hesitant and told me that she will pay for my Yarn and I could pay her back. So we did this. well my mom put her stuff up to be rung up and I put the little separator thing down after her stuff and the man that was behind Joy decided to push his shopping cart into joy's foot and leg to get her attention. He started to yell at her "Hey I thought you were all one order, put them all together." I quickly told my mom that that man was angry at us and she just paid for all our things to shut him up. Joy turned to him and said something like "you don't need to push your cart into me Sir. That is my mom and my sister." and he was all like "I don't care who they are." well lets just say he was very angry at us. We decided that he must have some other issues in his life and he is having a hard time dealing with them. We just pray that he does not hurt any other person.

Man I dislike Walmart...

the Yellow brick road of life

Taking for granted

It seems through life that at some point we wonder what our propose is here. I have not an answer to this but it is important to cherish all the little things in life. There is just so many glorious things around you that you may take for granted.

Have you ever just do what they say and stop to smell the roses; sat in a quite room with the window open and listen to the song bird sing? How about look down on the path you are walking on and see the little Rollie pollie bugs march on by you feet or the big beautiful butterflies flutter gracefully in the sky and wonder what adventure they are off to that day? I know this sounds a bit like dribble but let me tell you, you are given a life to live. You are faced with many choices in you life and what you do with them is what can determine you to live a happy and peaceful life or not. I am guilty of taking things for granted like a friendship, love, nature. There is truly so many things in life to pay attention to really. Many seem important at the time but what are you really sacrificing? Is what you are doing really worth it?

This might sound funny but try this experiment out with me and let me know what you think. Notice some little detail about the environment you are in or people around you and see/hear/taste/feel; if you can try and find out something beautiful about it. trust me it will change at how you view things in life. Remember though don't be so quick to judge for you will miss out on the great beauty that is around you.

Self acceptance

I am no expert in self acceptance but I do find it something that one should look at. It may seem a bit self absorbing to do this, however if you find that you are in a place were you feel like you do not belong listen up. Look inside your self for you will find great power. Like my mom always told me "God does not make junk." You need to believe, love, and trust your self as well as others. You also need to be courageous. It is okay to be different. This is probably one of the harder things in life to admit to because it is only natural as humans to want to fit in and be loved basically. So we sacrifice little parts of our self here and there and mold our selves to be something that we are not. Why try to be a clone when you are a unique and beautiful person. this was a hard lesson that I learned as a small child.

I remember when I was little trying oh so hard to be like my sister Joy because I felt like I did not fit in with my family and she did. My mom and sister, who I mostly hung around, seemed to be so smart, organized and successful. They also got along so well and I would see my sister getting awards left and right for doing well in school. My sister was even in the International Baccalaureate program in high school as well as doing many other activities. So I would work so hard to try and be like them because I thought that if I was like them then I could have all of them traits too and be liked.

Well i very quickly realized that I am not like them. I am not super smart like my sis, I am not nearly as organized, and i was not very successful and really anything. I cried a lot because I was different. I did not like it. Even to this day I know I am different and it is a hard pill to swallow but I open wide and swallow that enormous bitter pill. I am not like my sister or mother who I love and look up to, I am just goofy me and I am proud to be. There are so many things that I am not and I do not know about you but I tend to focus on them bad traits which brings me down a bit. I am still learning how to be more self accepting but it is a long journey. Kind of like the never ending Yellow brick road on wizard of OZ. It seems to never end and you are faced with challenges, set backs and decisions but then at the end of the path is your goal, Happiness. So go forth and reach the end to your path. Life is short so live it.

-Manda Panda

a walk in my moccasins-A refection

Hello all. Well School is winding down to an end. This is the last week before finals also known as Dead week. Not too long ago I was writing my scholarship renewal essay for my First generation Scholarship. This has gotten me to think about my experiences in life and made me realise how lucky I am to actually be here and to be able to experience so many things in my life.

Not many people know who I truly am. This is partly because I am afraid of what they will think of me. But I am not afraid any more. I have discovered that by sharing who I am not only makes me a confident person but gives others a chance to learn from my experiences too. So I want to let you take a walk in my moccasins.

Every person has a unique life story. Some are happy, some are sad. Mine is a little of both. People know I am a Music Ed student at CSU and that I play the cello and I love to knit and sew and dance and sing and watch movies. I am apparently know for my smile because that is what I do a lot and that I am happy most of the time. These are only thing that I allow people to see, some sort of mask that I have developed. Yes theses are things are still apart of me but it is not really who I am.

I am Amanda and I am 21 non drinker and non smoker. I have an Amazing mother, a father who is disabled for 21 years now and who is a true insperation and an older sister who I absolutely love and wish that I could be as good as her. I have 2 cute cats, named Hannah and Daisy Mae. I am a proud Catholic. In both sides of my family I am the only one who is actually going to college for music. I hope to change this fact. I have some family members who sing or play guitar but never had hard core training-they mostly sing Mexican music or play in a rock band.

Mexican music is part of my Heritage. I grew up with my Grandpo (on my mom's side) playing his guitar to us grand kids singing Mexican music and him telling us stories some of them of when he was a kid Growing up in New Mexico on his families cattle ranch or old Mexican folk tales. they would be in Spanglish of course. My Grandparents on my mom's side did not go very far in school because they have always worked. My Grandpa went up to the 6th grade i think and my Grandma only the 3rd grade. Hard to believe this but they did and they worked as migrant field workers and odd jobs here and there all their lives up and down Colorado and New Mexico. As i was growing up my Grandma worked at a Nursing home as a CNA and my Grandpa was retired from King Soopers. I did not really know my Grandparents on my fathers side. My Grandma Vicki died when I was 2 and my Grandpa Tony was not in the picture and died when I was 8 or 9 I think. I am mostly close with my mom's side of the family.

So I am a first generation Student here at CSU. both of my parents went as far as High School and it was a big deal for them to graduate and make it that far. Now I get a chance to be apart of the first generation to go to college and graduate. If it was not for my Mother who would tell my sister and I that we need to go to college and get that degree I do not know where I would have ended up at. In the 4 years that I have been here, I have meet some wonderful and not so wonderful people but mostly wonderful. I have gotten to see the beginnings of a great incoming conductor named Wes Kenny. He started here my freshman year and man was the orchestra not at the level it is now. I have got to see world class musicians play and those who are working diligently to master their instruments. I got to play on Museum piece instruments, conduct an orchestra and band. I have gotten to see my dream come true and getting to teach something that I love to others and share the Joy and power that music has with them. Every day I am here I work hard just so that I can be happy and soak up as much information that I can so that I can carve my way through life.

well I think that sums me up for the most part. Thank you if you have read this note of mine. I just had get out of my box of an image I have created and writing is the best way I know how to fill that box. I hope all of you have the best of luck with finals have a nice day.

Fun times

I know last week I was Raving about swing dancing and this week I am going to again. I just can not help it. I got to dance tonight with so many good dancers. It was so cool. I was doing things that I have never imagined that I would be doing. I got to dance with this one guy named Sean (sp?) He has been dancing for a long time i guess. I just loved watching his facial expressions, But I must say dancing with him was AMAZING! I love what he told me. "It's OK if you mess up. Dancing is just suppose to be fun." and that is how he danced. for fun. he twirled, turned, swung me around and there was a point in time were I felt like i was flying. When you dance the girls have to trust their partner a lot. were ever they lead you you follow even if you have no clue what they are doing, they know what they are doing and you have to trust them.

I got to dance with this older guy he had to be about 56 (he said he graduated from CSU in 1972) but he use to teach people how to dance like the fox trot and the Jitter bug and other dances. well I got to dance with him and he taught me about frame and how to follow your partner and I learned the Fox trot -all kinds of cool stuff. I also got to dance with my friend Eddie. He is really good too and he taught me the jive and i was teaching him some tap dancing moves. (yes I got some dance moves up my selves too).

well besides dancing today i had departmental recital with my trio. I think it went very well. we now know what it feels like to play in a larger room. :) I have not been too focused on HW today. for the past 2 days I have been doing paper after paper after planning lessons to teach ect... so I needed to get out and have some fun.

If you are interested in going with me Next WED it is the last dance before finals. it is totally free. it is going to be at the Lory Student Center near sweet sensations. it starts at 7:15 with lessons on how to dance and then they have a dance after were you can try out your new moves. it is a blast. :)-Manda Panda

I am in Love

Hello all. sorry i have not written in awhile. I have just been so busy with concerts lots and lots of dress rehearsals, homework and teaching that I have not had time to write. I have had 2 major concerts, steel band and Symphonic Orchestra. Steel band Rehearsals kicked my butt because we rehearsed outside/during class about 21 hours from March 23-April 6 and then we had our concert on the 6th. that is a lot of standing up BUt we sounded the best yet. It was such a blast to play. The orchestra concert was great last week only my back started to give me trouble from over use. I have been having to carry a really heavy backpack, my cello and Viola around campus. Some times all at once or a combination of them. I felt like a pack horse. I have been living off of PPJ most days because I have class after class after class. sometimes I do not get to eat anything at all. :( but thing are getting better. Next week I have 4 concerts so we will have to see how this works out.

Now I titled this Blog I am in love because I found a new interest. I love to swing dance. It is so much fun! here is a little of what the kids who sing dance here at CSU can do.



I learned how to do the basic Charleston and the basic Lindy Hop. I think the best part was being dipped and doing a "frog jump" and turns. I just had a blast. Hey guys here is a helpful hint. Girls love to dance and they need a partner. so learn how to dance and you might even get a girl. *wink* I was really impressed by all the very good dancers at the swing dancing club. and some of them had only done it for 7-8 months and they are just impressive. I think I am going to take up swing dancing or ballroom dancing over the summer. *Grin*

good gone to bad--lost...lost

Don't you just hate it when a good day goes sour by one event? I was having such a good morning this morning. I got 8 hours of sleep (which is very rare in my life), I had a good breakfast, got to observe at an elementary school for my music ed class. then it happened...I noticed that my beautiful butterfly necklace that i always have on was missing. (see the picture) All i had around my neck was my chain. This has made me very sad. I went looking for it but I cannot find it. I remember still having it when i was at the elementary school, but somewhere from there to here in my room it has been lost forever. :(

This necklace was very special to me because my Nina (godmother) gave it to me for my 21st birthday this last summer and I love butterflies. I know it is only a material thing but it has grown to become part of me. my special something that hung around my neck and has traveled many miles with me. I wish I still had it but it flew out of my life. I hope if it is found it will bring that person as much joy as it has brought me.